Leadership isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about creating an environment where people feel heard, valued, and trusted. But real listening is harder than it sounds. Many leaders assume they’re good listeners simply because they’re present in conversations.
The reality? Most of us think we’re listening… but we’re actually preparing our response, solving the problem too soon, or filtering what we hear through our own assumptions. If you’re serious about leading well, ask yourself: Am I truly listening? Or am I just hearing?
There’s a big difference between listening to reply and listening to understand. When an employee or colleague shares feedback, concern, or frustration, it’s easy to hear only what fits your assumptions, focus just on what’s easiest to solve, get defensive if feedback stings, or miss the underlying emotion or broader pattern.
A 2021 study published in the Journal of Business and Psychology found that true listening — active, engaged, reflective — has a direct link to employee satisfaction and loyalty. Meanwhile, Harvard Business Review offers listening skills leaders need to master
Real listening means slowing down enough to ask: What are they really trying to tell me? Where might I be missing part of their experience? What emotion or meaning sits underneath their words? If you’re not checking for understanding, you’re only hearing part of the message — and sometimes, the wrong part.
Listening doesn’t end when the conversation does. It’s what you do next that matters most. When employees share feedback, concerns, or ideas, they’re not just looking to vent — they’re hoping to see action, or at minimum, acknowledgment.
If you can act, even in small ways, take visible steps. Communicate progress regularly. Credit the employee’s voice. But if you cannot act, it’s essential to be transparent. Explain why. Acknowledge the importance of their perspective. Offer alternative ways their feedback can still influence outcomes. Circle back later if circumstances change.
Psychological safety doesn’t require every request to be fulfilled — it requires employees to feel respected, informed, and valued even when the answer is “not right now” or “not possible.” Research shows that unmet expectations alone don’t drive disengagement; it’s the lack of acknowledgment that breaks trust.
Another challenge many leaders underestimate: what happens when feedback is at odds with your ego. It’s easy to listen when feedback affirms your efforts or praises your leadership. It’s much harder when the message reveals a blind spot, a flaw, or a decision that caused harm. In those moments, real listening requires humility. You must resist the instinct to defend your actions, justify your choices, or diminish the feedback. Instead, take a breath. Ask questions. Thank the person for their honesty. The most courageous leaders are those who can sit with discomfort — because they understand that growth often sounds like criticism at first.
When employees feel heard, research shows they are more engaged, more innovative, and more committed to staying long-term. Listening also builds psychological safety — the number one factor behind high-performing teams according to Google’s Project Aristotle.
It’s not about agreeing with everything. It’s about making sure people know their voice matters.
If you’re wondering whether you’re truly listening, consider these behaviors. Are you asking clarifying questions instead of rushing to solutions? Are you paraphrasing or reflecting back what you heard? Are you managing your emotional reactions when hearing tough feedback — especially when it challenges your self-image? Are you following up with visible actions or honest updates? Are you creating regular, low-stakes opportunities for employees to speak candidly?
Listening is a leadership action — not just a passive behavior. As Edgar Schein put it, real listening means you are willing to be influenced.
If you want loyalty, innovation, engagement, and resilience from your teams, start by building the skill that makes all of those possible: authentic, active listening.
Before your next conversation, pause and ask yourself: Am I really hearing them — or am I only hearing myself?
And after the conversation, ask: What action — or acknowledgment — do they deserve from me?
Am I willing to fight the fight their feedback demands — even if it challenges my comfort or my ego?
Because leadership isn’t just about being available — it’s about being accountable when it matters most.
Your growth — and theirs — depends on the difference.